Less than a week ago I was very happy. I had received the best news of my life and everything seemed like it was finally working out and slotting into place. I have battled with a poor education throughout my school life, a disability that has prevented me from pursuing my passion and placed limits on me and a few other really shitty things. I’m not a lucky person.
But this weekend I discovered something that has left me feeling like I’m having a nightmare. I don’t know what to do, there is no right way to deal with it. I am confused as to why it’s happened just when my life is finally coming together, I’ve worked so hard this year at uni in order to change my education and to get the recognition I feel I deserve. I left school with two very low A Level grades, my teachers never bothered discussing university with me. I left school believing I was rubbish, having given up mentally rebelling against teachers who thought I was bad when I knew that I wasn’t. A couple of weeks ago I found out I was eligible to apply to go to Oxford and it was like a miracle. I planned to apply this coming year.
Now all that is gone and I don’t know why. I have my boyfriend and sister to support me and I hope that that will help. I would like to ask that those of you who believe in something pray for me and those who don’t keep me in their thoughts.
I’ve posts scheduled until 23rd, and I’ll leave them like that. I don’t know when I’ll be back in person, but I will be back because writing is one of the hobbies I’m able to do without limits. It could be tomorrow it could be weeks o months. Please excuse me for being so open and ranting like this, I need to stop sitting doing nothing and knew getting it off my chest in some way might help.
July 9, 2012, 11:23 am
:( I don’t want to make assumptions about what’s going on exactly, but I think I do recognise the feeling of disappointment behind your words. I’m so so sorry things are not working out as you hoped, and I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed that whatever’s going on is only a temporary roadblock that won’t keep you from reaching a place you’re happy with eventually. I can tell just from reading your blog how smart you are – and while I realise we live in a world where random obstacles often prevent smart and capable people from fulfilling their dreams, I really hope things will work out for you in the end.
July 11, 2012, 4:55 am
Oh, I’m so sorry – it seems like the rug was pulled out from under your feet. I hope you come through unscathed and don’t let the situation set you back too much. Like Ana above, I think your intelligence shines through, and I hope you’re able to get where you want to be.